I’m getting (I’ve been) irritated by the insinuation that being bisexual is not the same as being queer. If is see one more phrase such as,

“if queer folks and bi folks are to gain equality…”

WTF? Bi folks ARE queer folks people. Lets get that straight (no pun intended) today, shall we?

Also, if I see one more person say,

“I only date femmes, not bisexuals…”

Someone will get the death stare…I’m serious. This implies that femme folks can’t be bi and vice versa. There are bi femmes. Some may just ID as femmes, they aren’t “bi-femmes” unless they want to be.

Butches, just like femmes, can be bi. Transmen can be bi. Genderqueer poly kinky switch-top leaning folks, many are bi. Monagamous, vanilla, transwomen can be bi, and they are all queer.

I post this because I once thought that I was bi, coming from a period (my entire adolescence) of thinking I was straight. When I realized I loved women I thought I was bi and immersed myself in the social politics surrounding bi folks…I had to contend with ID’ing as Femme and Bi when most folks said “femme or bi.” Bi is the sexuality, femme is the gender presentation. The “Femme or Bi” thing, I think, stems from the misconception that bi female persons are feminine by default. How many butches have been hit on by men, and vice versa, and act on the invitations? Many, I know first hand. How many transmen cruise women and men? Many. You see what I’m getting at?

There is the argument that “Femme” is a lesbian ID among a lot of folks. It’s hard to disagree, historically it has been. But what of the new phenomenon of the label “Queer Femme”…it seems in many circles ubiquitous. Many take it on because “Queer” is a rejection of the term “lesbian”. Some ID as Queer Femme for political reasons, some are transsensual (date/partner with trans*masculine folks), some partner with Stone Butches and don’t see themselves reflected in mainstream (mostly white, androgynous or non-descript gender presenting culture) lesbian representation, all kinds of reasons. These women take on Queer Femme as an action that states that they won’t be erased. That there is more than “straight, gay, or confused.”

There is more.

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